15 Homemade Security Devices That Will Definitely Not Help You
Protecting your property from thieves is a priority for everyone.
Having thieves inside your house is a very traumatic experience, not only because of the loss of your most precious possessions, but the feeling of insecurity can linger for weeks, months or even years.
In some places around the world, theft is on the rise. But many sophisticated home security systems are expensive and require long-term contracts with third-party security companies.
Which leads many protective homeowners to take security into their own hands.
While home security is a serious business, here are 15 homemade security devices that will definitely not help you, but surely make you laugh.
1. LEGO and Leave It
If you have kids, you know all too well how astonishingly painful it is to step on LEGO bricks.
The first homemade security device on our list is simply throwing LEGO bricks under all your windows.
But we need to ask - how many potential thieves aren’t wearing any shoes?
2. Not-So-Great Robotic Security Guard
Humanoid robots that help us do our daily chores might not be that far away, but while we wait, why not build a robotic security device that will protect your home?
In this case, it seems like one of your pets is going to come to an unfortunate end rather than any would-be burglars.
The creator of this device may not have thought this through.
3. Lock the Gate!
Gates are an important part of securing your boundary. But they only work when there is a fence attached to them.
Apparently, this property's fence was taken out and the gate was left on its own, not helping anybody.
So remember fence and gates need to always go together.
4.Barking Up the Wrong Tree
Dogs have provided protection to humans for centuries.
Traditionally dogs were used to guard property by alerting their owners to strangers by loud barking and growling.
Not only did the noise wake up the sleeping homeowner, the dogs were chosen for their particular viciousness and size in the hope just looking at the dog would scare away potential criminals.
These days dogs are used less and less for practical purposes and more and more as simple companions.
These polite and pampered pets probably won't be able to help you in a home invasion situation.
Especially if your guard dog isn’t a guard dog at all.
5. Stick ‘em Up
Unless you fancy spending the rest of your life in a maximum security prison, don’t try this at home.
This overzealous home security DIYer has created a terrifying homemade remote control gun.
The YouTube host who talks us through the gun design in unsurprisingly called Cowboy, and will demonstrate exactly how to put together this unnecessary homemade security device.
We do not recommend making dangerous and potentially life-threatening weapons at home.
6. Try Next Door
This security measure isn’t exactly homemade but it definitely won’t help you protect your home.
Telling potential thieves to try next door isn’t just unneighbourly, it is also very unlikely to work.
It’s a cute housewarming gift nonetheless.
7. Bye, Mom!
Pretending like someone is still at home when you leave might work to deter a burglar if they happen to be outside of your house at that exact moment, but more likely it is just going to make you feel like a crazy person.
There are lots of DIY security tips that encourage homeowners to go to great lengths to make it look like there are still people in the house as you leave - including doing elaborate farewells to deter thieves.
An alarm might be slightly more reliable.
8. Caught on Camera
Security systems with CCTV cameras can be an effective way to secure your house.
They work in a few ways, first as a deterrent - no one wants to be caught on camera stealing a TV.
Secondly, some models can detect movement and set off other alarms or notify the police and homeowners.
But you do need to pay for the installation and sometimes monitoring of these systems which can often be very expensive.
Or you can do as this clever do-it-yourself enthusiast did and just tape a camera to a wall. Fail.
9. Read the Instructions
If you do decide to go ahead and move past the DIY constructions, be sure to read the instructions before installing your new shiny system.
If it explicitly says the power cord must be installed inside the wall cavity, it really is best to do so. Don't let your purchased system become a bunch of wires that will definitely not help you.
10. It's All An Illusion
This might be the best example of a homemade security device that will definitely not help you.
We all know there are a lot of fake security cameras out there designed just to deter potential thieves from even starting, but they have to have a semblance of authenticity to do a good job.
This homemade imitation security camera looks like it was borrowed from the kindergarten. It isn't going to fool anyone but it might stop them in their tracks with laughter.
11. Scared to Death
This homemade security device is a classic. Simple and to the point.
This homeowner didn't worry about making their door secure, they just wanted to ensure the thief is given the fright of their life once they get inside.
It's a cheap and cheerful trick that works to not only alert you that there is an unannounced visitor, it will definitely stop even the most determined thief in their tracks!
12. Can I Borrow A Pencil?
Not only is this a completely inadequate lock, the owner of this unhelpful device, saw fit to explain their locking system with a note. The pencil which attempts to lock the door of a locker might be good for writing notes, but definitely not for locking doors.
13. When A Door Is Also A Bike
If you are desperate for some privacy you need to use your imagination to lock down any space available.
This genius home repair enthusiast has ditched the traditional door handle and lock for a simple hole and bike lock.
While it won't be winning any design awards, it does look to be keeping the door closed.
14. Loop the Loop
This homeowner is a trusting sort of person. Instead of locking their door in any way at all, they have simply just kept it shut with an ad-hoc ring attached to a chain.
If thieves do come looking they might be forgiven for thinking this is an elaborate trap - surely no-one thought that was really going to keep anything secure?
15. Let Me Open Your Door
While technically not a home security device this awesome attempt at DIY bodyworks deserves a mention. Somehow this jeep ended up without a passenger door.
But for the quick-thinking owner, it only took a wooden gate to get the car back on the road.
Guys, please don't leave anything precious inside your car, that windowless door is anything but secure.
Like most things in life, it is best to leave home security to the experts.
While creating supposedly ingenious ways to battle burglars is a fun past time, it is more likely that your invention will become a meme than stop a burglar.