Engineering is a complex and challenging field that requires a great deal of knowledge and expertise.
However, even the most serious engineers need to take a break and have a laugh sometimes.
That's where engineering jokes come in.
Engineers have a very particular sense of humor that many people don't understand. They joke about things like electricity and programming languages — nothing could be funnier.
The following jokes poke fun at the quirks and idiosyncrasies of the profession and offer a lighthearted way of relieving stress and tension. In this article, we will explore some of the funniest engineering jokes.
From puns to one-liners, these jokes offer a clever and witty take on the world of engineering. So whether you're an engineer looking to share a laugh with your colleagues or simply someone who appreciates a good joke, read on to discover the best engineering jokes.
Three engineers and three mathematicians are on a train going to a conference. The mathematicians each bought a ticket. The engineers have one between them. The engineers rush off and jump into the tiny lavatory as the conductor walks through the train car. The conductor knocks on the lavatory door and says, "Ticket, please."
At which point the engineers slide the one ticket through a ventilation slot and the conductor punches it. The mathematicians think this looks like a good trick and decide to try it on the train ride back home. As the mathematicians board the train they have one ticket between them. The engineers have no ticket!
After a while, one of the engineers says, "Here comes the conductor!" So all three mathematicians jump up and run into the lavatory with their one ticket. One of the engineers goes to the lavatory door and says "Ticket, please."
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. They spot a buck, and each takes turns trying to bag it. The physicist goes first. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the bullet's trajectory, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum.
The bullet falls 20m short of the deer.
The engineer goes second. He pulls out his engineer's pad and book of projectile assumptions. After a few minutes, he’s ready, aims, and fires. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. The statistician leaps in the air shouting, “We got it!”
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."
The HR Manager said, "Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental coverage, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years — say, a red Mercedes?"
The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you joking?" HR Manager says, "Of course, ...but you started it."
One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of "hide and seek." Einstein volunteered to go first.
As he counted, Pascal ran away scrambling to find a great hiding place. Giddily, he squeezed into a crawl space, sure that he would win this time as this was his best hiding spot to date, and Newton, indeed, wouldn't find an equal.
On the other hand, Newton stood right in front of Einstein, pulled out a piece of chalk, and drew a box on the ground of roughly 1x1 meters. Once this was completed, he sat down neatly inside the box and waited for Einstein to finish counting.
When Einstein opened his eyes, he, of course, saw Newton and, with a bit of disappointment, said, “I found you, Newton, you lose,”... but Newton replied, “On the contrary, you are looking at one Newton over a square meter... Pascal loses!”
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything they want to measure it and have all the time they need.
The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that multiply by pi again, and then multiply by four-thirds, thereby calculating the volume.
The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1 gallon of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures.
And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball and looks it up.
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.
He spent a day studying the giant machine. Finally, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular device component and said, "This is where your problem is."
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark was $1; Knowing where to put it was $49,999.
It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
Source:Diamonddeyes18 via Reddit
And that's all folks!
Engineering jokes offer a humorous perspective on engineering and a welcome break from the daily grind. Whether you're a seasoned engineer or simply someone who appreciates a good joke, these puns and one-liners offer a clever and witty take on the profession. So, the next time you feel stressed or overwhelmed, take a break and laugh with these engineering jokes. After all, a good sense of humor is an essential tool for any engineer!
%2Favatars%2FXT3vqpiaHT53.jpg&w=96&q=75)
%2Fimg%2Fiea%2FLBGRa58O2j%2Fengineering-jokes.jpg&w=3840&q=75)
SHOW COMMENT (1)
%2F2023%2F05%2F26%2Fimage%2Fjpeg%2FsmTFO3AG7ESAzCi8L0kVnrUEHbVmcjiZ2KhVW0QE.jpg&w=256&q=75)
%2F2023%2F05%2F26%2Fimage%2Fjpeg%2F1JXrkwK7efWVsmu4aRFf4fdD1Ptufo7ZAU7UMPLd.jpg&w=256&q=75)
%2F2023%2F05%2F25%2Fimage%2Fjpeg%2FxbqtdlTTlQ6wFUubr9etkXJZVi8dBYvahuUEjCzI.jpg&w=256&q=75)
%2F2022%2F08%2F04%2Fimage%2Fjpeg%2FkenkoRft51DPpfvdF4uDjrFaXLkR2uzHQZP8M9VJ.jpg&w=256&q=75)
%2F2022%2F11%2F21%2Fimage%2Fjpeg%2FJjU9Bz1iEE95h02DvN7D8Sw93epQUgQ5unRyKqXU.jpg&w=256&q=75)
%2F2022%2F08%2F10%2Fimage%2Fjpeg%2F6ZX8UzppyITFehtDP7SpdIo89mrf5tfMjvh5MQHI.jpg&w=256&q=75)