25 best engineering jokes that will make your day better
- Engineering is a complex and challenging field that requires a great deal of knowledge and expertise.
- However, even the most serious engineers need to take a break and have a laugh sometimes.
- That's where engineering jokes come in.
Engineers have a very particular sense of humor that many people don't understand. They joke about things like electricity and programming languages — nothing could be funnier.
The following jokes poke fun at the quirks and idiosyncrasies of the profession and offer a lighthearted way of relieving stress and tension. In this article, we will explore some of the funniest engineering jokes.
From puns to one-liners, these jokes offer a clever and witty take on the world of engineering. So whether you're an engineer looking to share a laugh with your colleagues or simply someone who appreciates a good joke, read on to discover the best engineering jokes.
1. Engineers on a train
Three engineers and three mathematicians are on a train going to a conference. The mathematicians each bought a ticket. The engineers have one between them. The engineers rush off and jump into the tiny lavatory as the conductor walks through the train car. The conductor knocks on the lavatory door and says, "Ticket, please."
At which point the engineers slide the one ticket through a ventilation slot and the conductor punches it. The mathematicians think this looks like a good trick and decide to try it on the train ride back home. As the mathematicians board the train they have one ticket between them. The engineers have no ticket!
After a while, one of the engineers says, "Here comes the conductor!" So all three mathematicians jump up and run into the lavatory with their one ticket. One of the engineers goes to the lavatory door and says "Ticket, please."
2. The blind firemen
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Source: Joshua Gohil via LinkedIn
3. 10 Types of people in the world
There are 10 types of people in the world...
Those who understand binary, and those that don't!
4. A group of hunters
An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. They spot a buck, and each takes turns trying to bag it. The physicist goes first. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the bullet's trajectory, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum.
The bullet falls 20m short of the deer.
The engineer goes second. He pulls out his engineer's pad and book of projectile assumptions. After a few minutes, he’s ready, aims, and fires. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. The statistician leaps in the air shouting, “We got it!”
5. An engineer's dream salary
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."
The HR Manager said, "Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental coverage, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years — say, a red Mercedes?"
The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you joking?" HR Manager says, "Of course, ...but you started it."
Source: Engineering Humor
6. Who designed the human body?
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints!"
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through the recreational area?"
7. Different perspectives
A Mathematician, an engineer, and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the train window.
“Aha,” says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”
“Hmm,” says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black.”
“No,” says the mathematician, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”
8. A misunderstanding
Customer: Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs?
Sales Rep: For what?
Customer: No, two.
Sales Rep: Two what?
Sales Rep: No.
9. Better safe than sorry
Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said "2."
Now, I'd say, "I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it three just to be safe."
Source: Marymelodic via Reddit
10. The oldest computer
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple.
But with extremely limited memory...
Just 1 byte.
Then everything crashed.
11. The most brilliant joke ever written
One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of "hide and seek." Einstein volunteered to go first.
As he counted, Pascal ran away scrambling to find a great hiding place. Giddily, he squeezed into a crawl space, sure that he would win this time as this was his best hiding spot to date, and Newton, indeed, wouldn't find an equal.
On the other hand, Newton stood right in front of Einstein, pulled out a piece of chalk, and drew a box on the ground of roughly 1x1 meters. Once this was completed, he sat down neatly inside the box and waited for Einstein to finish counting.
When Einstein opened his eyes, he, of course, saw Newton and, with a bit of disappointment, said, “I found you, Newton, you lose,”... but Newton replied, “On the contrary, you are looking at one Newton over a square meter... Pascal loses!”
Source: Telionis via Reddit
12. Programmer's drinking song
100 little bugs in the code,
100 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
101 little bugs in the code.
101 little bugs in the code.....
Repeat until BUGS = 0.
Source: Engineering Humor
13. The perfect marriage
Two antennas got married — the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
14. Shy engineers
What's the difference between an introverted and an extroverted engineer?
An introverted engineer looks at his shoes when talking to you, and an extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when talking to you.
Source: Ky1e5 via Reddit
15. Syntax error keeping you awake at night
He couldn't sleep for two days because he missed her.
I couldn't sleep for four days because I missed a stupid ";" in my code!
Via Ilya Pavlov/Interesting Engineering
16. TCP protocol
-Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
+Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.
-OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.
+OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.
-Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?
+Yes, I am prepared to listen to a TCP joke.
-OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds; it has two characters, does not have a setting, and ends with a punchline.
+OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting, and ends with a punchline.
-I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
Source: Navin Kabra via Quora
17. Engineering student's dream
18. All mixed up!
Two mixing chambers are working in a factory, one says to the other "You are so efficient! How do you do it?"
The other mixer turns to him, saying, "I don't know, I'm baffled."
Source: DalePrescott via Reddit
19. One of these things is not like the other
One of these things is not the other: a frozen pizza, a bachelor's degree in engineering, and a doctorate in conceptual mathematics.
A frozen pizza and an engineer can both feed a family of 4.
Source: jrgwde via Reddit
20. Some tricky math
Newton asked a group of medical, science, management, and engineering students the question, "How can you write 4 in between 5?"
The medical students answered, "This is a joke, right?"
The science students answered, "It is impossible!"
The management students answered, "Not found on the internet!"
The engineering students answered, "That's easy, it's F(IV)E!"
21. Stand-ard joke
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
22. A tricky storage problem
How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
23. Calculate the volume
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything they want to measure it and have all the time they need.
The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that multiply by pi again, and then multiply by four-thirds, thereby calculating the volume.
The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1 gallon of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures.
And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball and looks it up.
Source: Engineers Aspect
24. The Polish airline
Why does the Polish airline have such bizarre seating arrangements in their aircraft?
Everyone knows that poles in the right half-plane are unstable.
Source: Mantra via Reddit
25. X marks the spot
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.
He spent a day studying the giant machine. Finally, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular device component and said, "This is where your problem is."
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark was $1; Knowing where to put it was $49,999.
It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
Source: Diamonddeyes18 via Reddit
And that's all folks!
Engineering jokes offer a humorous perspective on engineering and a welcome break from the daily grind. Whether you're a seasoned engineer or simply someone who appreciates a good joke, these puns and one-liners offer a clever and witty take on the profession. So, the next time you feel stressed or overwhelmed, take a break and laugh with these engineering jokes. After all, a good sense of humor is an essential tool for any engineer!