Russian Utility Company Gave Lenin Monument Spikes to Discourage Bird Poo
If monuments had feelings, they'd probably feel humiliated. Not because everyone is constantly watching, venerating, and staring relentlessly at them, but because of the hundreds to thousands of birds that smother them in droppings all the time.
In a gesture of bronze empathy, a utility company shoved spikes into a Lenin monument's head to keep discourage birds from standing there and embarrassing Lenin lovers everywhere, according to a website called Design You Trust.
Lenin monument's spiked head keeps birds away
From an engineering perspective, this makes perfect sense and is also not the first urban surface to be lined with spikes to keep living beings from resting in public. But on Lenin's head, they give a mildly "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome" impression; a film in which anarchy — and not the proletariat — reigned.
Unwilling to live with the association or the confusing optics of a spike-headed triple-mohawk Lenin, the utility company is working to find a better solution to protect the leader of the proletariat from bird poo.
While no one asked which situation Lenin prefers; the spikes, or the droppings, the mayor of Magadan reportedly ordered the removal of Lenin's spikes.
Protecting monuments from bird poo
Of course, Lenin isn't the only political monument targeted by birds. In the U.K., an iconic Aberdeen statue that stands for a prized army regiment made Lenin's bird poo problem look like a mild case.
Unveiled in 2011, the Gordon Highlanders monument had a serious problem with birds — so bad that it was decided that it would be covered in a new "bird-free" gel to discourage gulls from smothering it in fresh droppings.
A local resident named Neil Ross expressed his annoyance at the statue's state in 2018: "Every day I walk past the bottom of Union Street and think about the fact we hold marches across the country on Remembrance Sunday to honour the dead — Aberdeen has this monument covered in bird poo with numerous tourists taking pictures of it," he said, reports Press and Journal. "It's not great advertising for Aberdeen."
Whether advertising for a local community and its businesses or signifying Russia's former Soviet glory, clearly statues have a bird poo problem. The only helpful question seems to be: which is best? Spikes, gel, or smothered in bird poo?