The 2000-Year-Old Sarcophagus Finally Opened Despite Hilarious Warning Tweets

For those of you who don’t know, earlier this month, a group of archaeologists came across a mysterious black sarcophagus buried under the ground when they were excavating a construction site. This massive coffin was believed to be 2000 years old and belong to some influential person of the Ptolemaic period (323-30 BCE).

The internet’s response to the news was however filled with a lot of fun. The entirely intact and unbroken sarcophagus generated much interest and fascination among the experts and novices alike, and speculations about this giant black coffin continued to pour in!

Some even suggested that it could contain the corpse of Alexander the Great. Even the Archaeologists were excited of this discovery as the thick layer of the mortar was a clear sign that this sarcophagus was not opened before by anyone in the past.

However, after much anticipation, the archaeologists finally opened up the tomb yesterday, and NO, they didn't find anything pretty! Instead, the authorities found three skeletons floating in sewage water that managed to seep inside the tomb through the cracks on road surfaces.

Mostafa Waziri, the head of Egypt’s Supreme Council for Antiquities said in a statement that "The sarcophagus has been opened, but we have not been hit by a curse," in response to the media rumors that claimed opening the tomb would bring bad luck for the world.

The sewage however decomposed the mummies according to the ministry's press release. However, there are still the skeletal remains which most likely belong to military officers according to Shaaban Abdel Moneim, a specialist in the study of mummies and skeletons.

Waziri confirmed this in a statement saying that one of the skulls shows multiple fractures caused by a sharp instrument, pointing out that it belongs to a warrior. The other two skulls are however intact and belong to men.

Alexandria Governor Mohamed Sultan told Egypt Today that the three skeletons will be transferred to the Alexandria National Museum and the Ministry of Antiquities will be analyzing the skeletal remains to identify their ages and cause of death.

[see-also]

While the findings weren't too exciting as expected, the speculations that came along with the news might still tickle your funny bone!

Jeet Heer tweeted,  

If we've learned anything from every Mummy movie of the last 100 years, its that this sarcophagus must not be opened. https://t.co/aLuliTBBlb

— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) 11 July 2018

Another tweet came from David Milner who commented, 

As a fan of Brendan Fraser's The Mummy, I say don't open the cursed sarcophagus.

But as someone who saw Tom Cruise's The Mummy, I say do it. We deserve the horrors that await.

— David Milner (@DaveMilbo) 13 July 2018

And people have not just been quoting The Mummy. As Alexandra Petri mentions, it’s any horror movie we have ever seen. Her tweet says,

I think I’m team Let’s Open The Sarcophagus How Bad Can It Be and sudddenly I understand the first ten minutes of every disaster movie much better

— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) 11 July 2018

Author Nick Moseley pointed out a fairly good point in his tweet saying,  

Just for once, how about we re-bury the sinister black sarcophagus and pretend we never found it?

...They're going to open it, aren't they? Oh well, I'm off to Tesco to stock up on holy water.

— Nick Moseley (@NMoseley_Writer) 11 July 2018

These and many more tweets have made quite a big joke of this sarcophagus that has still not been opened.  

They open the mysterious black sarcophagus and inside it's David Bowie, alive and well. He then sets about repairing the timeline using the occult knowledge he won through trickery in the Underworld

— iucounu (@iucounu) 11 July 2018

They found this black granite sarcophagus in Alexandria and that’s really cool and all but if the movies have taught me anything…guys…don’t open that. Just don’t. Leave it alone. pic.twitter.com/l770a8hT3T

— Catherynne Valente (@catvalente) 12 July 2018

A man just honest to God said to me "Keep plugging at the narrative of how bad childbirth is, and the species will cease to exist." We have reached peak mansplaining. Alert!!! Open the sarcophagus!!! I welcome our new mummy overlord!

— Victoria Stone/Victoria Dahl (@VictoriaDahl) 12 July 2018