Scientists figure out how attraction works

The final results of the studies indicated that when someone believes an essence drives their interests, they make an assumption that the same is true for others. Once they meet someone with one matching interest, they immediately connect with them because they assume they will have more things in common including an overall view of the world. 

“I found that both with pretty meaningful dimensions of similarity as well as with arbitrary, minimal similarities, people who are higher in their belief that they have an essence are more likely to be attracted to these similar others as opposed to dissimilar others,” said Chu.

“If we had to come up with an image of our sense of self, it would be this nugget, an almost magical core inside that emanates out and causes what we can see and observe about people and ourselves. We argue that believing people have an underlying essence allows us to assume or infer that when we see someone who shares a single characteristic, they must share my entire deeply rooted essence, as well.”

However, Chu’s research also suggests that our inclination to connect with someone simply because of one or two shared interests may be limiting us and our options for partners. We may all too often find ourselves disliking people because of a few of their choices when they may very well be compatible with us in many other ways.

“We are all so complex,” Chu told SciTechDaily. “But we only have full insight into our own thoughts and feelings, and the minds of others are often a mystery to us. What this work suggests is that we often fill in the blanks of others’ minds with our own sense of self and that can sometimes lead us into some unwarranted assumptions.”

The findings were published in the American Psychological Association’s Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.