You might not have known, but on Tuesday this week, USA entered a battle of grand proportions with Japan, the likes of which the world hasn’t seen since Pearl Harbour. Why didn’t such a shocking showdown make its way into every news cycle? Probably because it involved giant robots.
The frequently delayed giant robot fight to end all fights finally took place when USA’s Iron Glory + Eagle Prime and Japan’s Kuratas fought it out in an abandoned steel mill in Japan. It was possibly the slowest tussle in history--with a chainsaw thrown in here and there.
The event was streamed on Twitch, and it’s important to note that the battle was not live, instead, it was more of a choreographed WWE involving massive, metal gladiators and overdramatic commentators.
Both human teams also engaged in their own forms of theatrics, with opposing drivers delivering epic trash talk such as, “they’re as good as scrap,” and when asked what the USA felt was wrong with Kuratas they fired back with the stinging, “everything.” Ouch.
The entire ordeal was very much like a “Real Steel” in real life, though autonomous robotic technology isn’t nearly as advanced as Hugh Jackman’s Atom, yet.
This MegaBots incorporated 15-foot-tall giant robot weighs 6 tons, powered by a 24 horsepower engine with a 22-foot wingspan and a top speed of 2.5 mph. Its weapons of choice include a cannon and 20x Missile Launcher.
The USA brought not one, but TWO robots to the arena. The second bot, called Eagle Prime, stunk of pièce de résistance and was ready to reign freedom all over Kuratas. The 16-foot-tall Eagle Prime weighs a whopping 12 tons, with a 40-foot wingspan and 430 horsepower engine. Its kit includes a logging grapple, chainsword, and a double-barreled cannon.
Suidobashi Heavy Industry’s juggernaut weighs four tons, is 13 feet tall and can reach a top speed of 18 mph. The Japanese robot also has an incredible 87 horsepower engine with three stellar weapons; an Ichigeki fist, Articulating hand and 18-mm sub-machine gun that spits paintballs.
Let’s break down the head to head, looking at the crazy moment by crazy moment.
“Science fiction comes to life.”
Kuratas Vs. Iron Glory
As soon as the opening bell rang out, Kuratas was ready for a fight; it crawled its way over to the stoic and pneumatic Iron Glory which tried in vain to fire a cannonball as Kuratas continued its creep forward.
But the attempt was thwarted when the munition broke apart in Iron Glory’s Cannon, leaving it vulnerable to the still oncoming attack from Kuratas.
The commentator, however, described Kuratas’ movement as “relentless,” we disagree.
Inside the Japanese bot, the pilot signaled its mecha to raise its left arm out, which then, eventually connected with the motionless Iron Glory in a one-punch knockout, sending the American bot down like a fallen oak.
The two USA pilots were aided by their MegaBot team as they attempted to wriggle out of their dishonored steel, comrade. The two operators crawled out of Iron Glory like a pair of POWs.
“Are you physically okay right now?” The perky interviewer asked the losing MegaBot duo.
“The fall was pretty tough, as soon as I saw the robot coming in, I grabbed the back of my helmet and braced myself,” replied Matt, somehow out of breath.
While the first bout showed off the power of Kuratas’ 272kg (600lb) left hook, the second showdown brought in the big guns, namely Eagle Prime. The robot with a giant eagle head and red and blue arm accents, with giant white stars --might be the most obviously American robot we’ve ever seen.
This was the fight we were waiting for.
Kuratas immediately took cover behind some barrels after the imposing Eagle Prime made its way onto the battlefield, 18-times more powerful than Iron Glory.
For some reason, Kuratas launched a drone, which didn’t do anything except fly straight into Eagle Prime and die in a small puff of smoke.
Eagle Prime then launched cannons at Kuratas, still cowering behind the pile of oil drums. Again a ball breaks up inside the chamber, but one soon works and knocks over a barrel, leaving the Japanese bot vulnerable.
Kuratas tried to deliver the biggest punch it had in its arsenal but to no avail. Eagle Prime clutches the punching arm with its terrifying claw and starts whacking at Kuratas like a colossal metal bully on a playground.
Suddenly the robots are stuck together; a brief stalemate allows the teams to separate and swap weapons.
In a move that hit Suidobashi Heavy Industry where it hurts, Eagle Prime proceeded to knock off Kuratas’ right hand.
America won the round.
Upon their return, Kuratas aimed at being more defensive than offensive, but no one expected what came next.
Kuratas began a barrage of paintballs at Eagle Prime, hoping to cloud its camera system. Instead, Eagle Prime grabs a piece of scaffolding from a lighting truss and starts spinning it in the direction of the paintball gun.
Eagle Prime then whipped out a chainsaw or “chainsword” and began ripping into Kuratas’ armor until it grinds to a halt. Not before more scaffolding is sent flying and the commentators make a pre-rehearsed run for it.
America was victorious, and luckily no one was chopped in half by a chainsword.
Hopefully, this heavily edited spectacle was the start of many more robot bouts, MegaBot has dozens of competitors ready to take on the undefeated Eagle Prime, so stay tuned. There might be another battle of the ages to look forward to.